A Flower Conversation

Some dude's head. Not my dude's head, but, you know, a representative sample of a CT Scan.

This actually happened. About ten minutes ago, in fact.

SCENE – The kitchen of a small home. Husband is on the phone. Wife enters.

EVAN (hanging up phone): So! I don’t have head cancer!

ME: Oh, was that the doctor? Wait, you were worried you had head cancer?

EVAN: Well, you know.

ME: So, what did the CAT scan show? Is it a bone infection?

EVAN: No, it’s a deviated septum and severe sinus infection, with mild allergies.

ME: Really?! So, a deviated septum caused years of dental pain?

EVAN: Yeah.

ME: And all the headaches and your inability to sleep because of the pain? All of this from a deviated septum?

EVAN: And the extreme congestion.

ME: That part makes sense. But I had no idea a deviated septum could cause so much trouble for so long.

EVAN: Apparently, the doctor wants me to go to Ear, Nose and Throat guy, but, you know.

ME: What?

EVAN: You gotta watch doctors.

ME: ???

EVAN: With medical things, there are two paths. Serious and not.

ME: I don’t get what you’re saying.

EVAN: There’s cancer, and life threatening things, and then there’s the stuff not worth bothering with. There’s no grey area.

ME: Well, this strikes me as a grey area, your deviated septum. It’s not super serious, but it’s not insignificant, either.

EVAN: If it hasn’t caused a problem in 34 years, I don’t know why I need to worry about it.

THE END

9 thoughts on “A Flower Conversation

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  3. John says:

    Okay, so I had two deviated septum fixes. The first one fixed my snoring (with a uvula-plasty – the punching bag in the back of the throat-which was the snore problem), the second actually helped me breathe better – slightly. It is a grey area, but a ENT specialist is the way to go. A consult is at least worth the look.

  4. anal isa says:

    Crap! I wonder if I have a deviated septum!? My doctor hasn’t caught it yet, so no need to worry yet, right!?

  5. A C-V says:

    I would agree – there are two paths…but they are not “serious and not”. They are “insured and not”. If you have the insurance, you should get it fixed and enjoy life – think how many more hours of Zombies, Modern Warfare, Angry Birds, Glow Burst, etc. you could play without pain. Think how great the world his contributions to the world may be if Evan could get a full night’s rest!

    PS I hear deviated septum is the #1 reason for plateaued muscle growth among weight lifters. Just sayin.

  6. Becky says:

    Ok, that was hilarious! Brent also has a deviated septum, geez I wish he’d get surgery on it! I would get better sleep!

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